Before the Dive
by rhythm of life
Summary: Edward couldn't bear to be away from Bella any longer so he came back to Forks on the day Bella was supposed to go cliff diving. But Bella doesn't welcome him back with open arms. Will the two find a way to be together again after all that's happened?
1. Chapter 1: He's Back!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that are in Twilight or New Moon. I did make up Mr. Malone though! 

Chapter 1: He's Back

Bella's POV:

Biology. I hate this class, I thought as I walked into the small classroom. Biology brought up bad memories; things that I never wished to think about again. I sighed and walked over to my seat, staring at the ground.

"Hey, Bella," Angela said cheerfully. At least someone was happy.

"Hi," I replied glumly, still looking at the floor. I really didn't want to be spoken to during Biology. It would just bring up unpleasant, well, no they weren't _unpleasant_, in fact, they some of the happiest times in my life, it was just painful. Anyway, I should be glad that people are speaking to me again. If I went back into my zombie state again, I'm not sure that even Jacob could pull me out of it.

Jacob. He had been such a help to me, and the sad thing was, he would never know how much I really needed him, or how grateful I was to have him. He was the second best thing to, no, I can't think _his _name.

I walked slowly to my seat in the far corner of the room. When I got to the desk, I put my face in my hands with my eyes shut tight, already tired of this class even though it hadn't even started. Then I heard it. A musical voice right next to me, whispering my name. But no, it couldn't be _him_. There was no way! But, then again, I wasn't in any danger, so why would I be hearing hallucinations, and during biology, too! I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, trying to block out the voice that kept repeating my name.

These hallucinations would do nothing to help me or improve my mood. No, they would probably worsen it. Poor Jacob. He would have to deal with a sad, depressed me. But, maybe he's used to it by now. And today we were supposed to go cliff diving too! What a horrible way to ruin a perfectly fine day. I willed my hallucinations to stop so that I could concentrate on what the teacher was saying. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Weird. No one sat at the desk next to me.

"Edward Cullen, if you have something to say perhaps you should tell it to the whole class," the teacher, Mr. Malone, barked. I gasped, and lowered my hands from my face, slowly opening my eyes. It couldn't be. Not Edward. Not here. I must still be asleep. I'm still dreaming. I'll wake up and this will all just be a dream. Then his voice rang out again.

"Sorry, Mr. Malone. It won't happen again," my favorite voice said, coming from right beside me.

"See that it doesn't," Mr. Malone grunted. I took a deep breath and slowly turned my head to look at the seat beside me. What I saw was impossible. It was Edward, sitting right beside me, staring at me with, dare I say, _love _in his eyes. Impossible. My eyes widened and I quickly turned my head back in the direction of Mr. Malone.

"Bella," Edward said again, his velvety voice pleading at me to look at him, but I didn't. "Bella, I need to talk to you!" I couldn't take this anymore. I must be insane. Then again, Mr. Malone saw him too, so where does that leave me? I needed to get away. I needed to _think_.

"Mr. Malone," I said raising my hand high in the air.

"Yes, Isabella?" he asked. Dang. He still didn't call me Bella.

"I'm not feeling well. May I please go to the nurse?" I asked weakly, not having to pretend to sound ill. I truly didn't feel all right.

"Fine," Mr. Malone grunted, obviously annoyed that I had interrupted his lesson. "Do you need assistance, Miss Swan?"

"No!" I said loudly. "I think I can walk to the nurse's by myself at least." I got up out of my chair, but immediately tripped. Edward made a move to help me up, but I stood on my own with as much dignity I could muster, and walked out the door. As soon as I was a good deal away from the classroom, I ran off to my truck at a sprint. As soon as I reached my destination I laid my forehead on the cool metal of my truck and breathed in deeply.

"Bella!" I heard a voice yell after me. I turned around quickly. Dang it. It was Edward. How was I supposed to think clearly with him near me?

"Bella!" he yelled again. I ignored him and opened the door of my truck. As soon as I did, Edward was at my side.

"Hello, Edward," I said emotionlessly. I didn't want him to know how I felt yet.

"Bella, you must be so-"

"Confused. Angry. Hurt," I finished for him.

"Well, yes. But please let me explain!" he begged.

"Explain what?" I asked angrily, slamming my car door shut and looking him in the eye. "You left me, Edward Cullen, and when you did you seemed to explain perfectly well then."

"Bella, please. Just listen to me!" he begged. For some reason I didn't feel forgiveness or even pain, I just felt anger. Anger at everything I had to go through for some rash decision of his that I had no control over, and anger at how he expected everything to be fine and to start again right where we left off. Well, did I have something to say about it? Yes, I did, and I was going to have my say.

"No! You know what, Edward, I can't believe you think that you can just walk into my life again. You made it perfectly clear on that day that you left that I wasn't good enough for you and that you didn't want me. So what, now you just changed your mind all of a sudden? I don't think I can just sit here and let you mess around with my life because, you know what, what you do affects me to, not just you. When you left, my heart was ripped into shreds! It's taken this long for me to at least gather up the pieces, and even now it's still not better. I just don't think that I can trust you anymore. I can't be hurt like that again, Edward, or else I'll die. Good bye," I said, tears running down my cheeks. I opened the car door quickly and hopped in and drove away with Edward begging to listen to him and to come back. Well you know what, Edward, I've had enough of listening to you. I sure listened when you told me what you thought of me that day in the woods, so why would I listen now?

Then the realization of what I had done hit me. I had given him up, the only person I could ever truly love with all my heart and soul. I had given up the perfect man. Edward was my one true love and I had thrown him away in just a few words and one bad action. Now he was free to go and find another human who was prettier, braver, and more graceful than me to love. I was never that interesting anyway. Oh my God. What have I done?


	2. Chapter 2: How Could She Love Me Anyway?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters in this story. Author's note: Sorry about the last chapter. Like I said, it's my first story, so I have a limited knowledge about that sort of stuff. 

Edwards POV:

I guess I deserved that. What had I expected anyway? For her to welcome me back with open arms after all I had done to her? Was I that naive? I deserved everything she had told me. I had prepared for the worst and I had gotten it. She didn't want me anymore. What hurt me the most was that this whole time she thought that I had given her up because she wasn't good enough for me. How could she not be good enough for me? _I _wasn't good enough for _her_.

Why should she love a monster like me when she had people like Mike Newton to adore her. Men that didn't want to drink her blood or men that weren't tempted to damn her to an eternity of endless nights for his own selfish reasons. And then, even more painful, she thought that what I had said to her in the woods was true! That I didn't want her! As if I could ever stop wanting her, or needing her. Yes, I had learned during the time I was away that I needed her. Everything I did was somehow connected to her. If I didn't have her, then what was the point of life?

But, I _didn't _have her anymore. She had said she didn't want me, and I accepted her decision. Why should she want me when I had hurt her so much, anyway? But now, what was the point of my existence? Even if I couldn't have her, I could protect her whether she knew that I was there or not.

I couldn't stay at school, obviously. It was too painful. The words that she had said still rang in my head. It was unbearable. I needed to escape the words, the horrible words that ruined everything. I needed to run, run far away to escape. I could come back for the Volvo later. Not caring who saw, what did it matter anymore, I ran off. I didn't know where I was going, just that I needed to get somewhere. Anywhere. Any place was better than here.

The wind in my ears blocked away all the sounds, but more importantly, the words. I had to escape them somehow, and I had found a way to do it. But I couldn't keep running forever, or could I? Hmm. To keep running forever. Unfortunately, I couldn't. I had to feed sometime, and I would miss my family too much. As long as Bella was alive and well, I would stay where she was, whether she wanted me there or not.

Eventually, I ran back to my house.

"Edward! Where were you?" Esme asked, hugging me.

"Just out running, Mom," I replied, tired; tired from running, and tired of this existence if Bella wasn't in it.

"Oh, I see," she said, glancing at me suspiciously. _I wonder when he'll tell me what's really going on, _she thought. _Aw well, I had better not press him for information. He might lose his temper and who knows what he'll do then. _I silently thanked Esme for her silence. I didn't want to talk about what had happened now, or ever.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Alice asked, seeing my troubled and sad expression. _And don't you lie to me, Edward Anthony Cullen. _

"I don't want to talk about it, all right, Alice?" I asked, knowing that it was a hopeless effort. Alice could be as stubborn as, well, me, when she wanted to be, and now was one of those times.

"Edward, tell me. You know that I'll find out one way or another, and Jasper won't thank you for getting me into an agitated mood because you won't tell me what is going on," Alice said.

"Alice, please, just some other time," I said, all the will to fight out of my voice. I just sounded tired.

"Fine, Edward. But you will tell me sometime, won't you?" she asked, realizing that what was going on was serious and that I really didn't want to talk about it.

"Maybe, Alice," I said, walking away to my room. Once I got to my stereo system, I put in a heavy metal CD and cranked the volume all the way up. If I was too tired to run away from the words, then I could get other words to block out Bella's words. At some point Carlisle came in and turned off my wonderfully loud music.

"Edward, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, getting up to turn the music on again.

"Edward, I think we should talk. You know that you can tell me anything, don't you?" Carlisle said, blocking my way.

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about this particular subject," I protested.

"Edward-"

"Carlisle, I'll tell you when the times right, but right now, I just am. . . it's too early for me to openly talk about it," I sighed.

"Fine," Carlisle said, looking at me suspiciously. He left the room and I immediately turned the music back on again. Even with the loud music blaring all around me, Bella's words came back into my mind, haunting me, screaming over the loud music.

_Make it stop! Make all the words go away! Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry, _I thought, putting my hands over my ears as if that would stop the memory of the words. _I'm so sorry. _


	3. Chapter 3: Life Goes On?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that you may recognize from Twilight/New Moon 

Chapter 3: Life Goes On?

I sobbed so hard in my truck that I almost drove into a ditch. What had I done? I got home as quickly as I dared and ran up to my bedroom crying hysterically. Had I thought my actions through? Had I thought before I spoke? No, and no. And because of that I had lost a boyfriend, the most perfect boyfriend in the world.

After awhile, though, I got up, washed my face, and headed to the kitchen where I began to make supper. While the food was cooking I called Jacob.

"Hello?" Billy asked, answering the phone.

"Oh, hi, Billy. Can I talk to Jacob, please?" I asked calmly.

"Of course, Bella. Just a second," Billy answered. A few seconds later Jake came to the phone.

"Hey, Bella. What's up?" he asked.

"I just called to tell you that I can't come cliff diving with you today. I'm not feeling so good," I said.

"Aw. That's too bad. I'm sorry, Bella. Do you want me to come over to Forks? We could watch movies or do homework or something," Jacob suggested.

"Thanks for offering, but I think I'll be fine with a little rest. Can we go cliff diving tomorrow, same time, same place?" I asked.

"Sure. See you then!" Jake said.

"Bye," I said, hanging up the phone. I looked over at the food that I was cooking and realized that I wasn't hungry. I left a note for Charlie.

_Charlie, _it said.

Dinner's in the oven. All you have to do is take it out when the timer goes off and eat it. Sorry I can't eat with you. I'm feeling a little tired, that's all, so I went to rest in my bedroom. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I just need some rest and some peace and quiet.

Love,

Bella

_After that, I walked slowly to my room and laid down on my bed and just thought. _

My life could go on, couldn't it? Just like it had before Edward showed up again; just me and Jacob against the world. But now, Edward was back, and I had a choice. I could go back to the way it was, when I was just barely getting by, or go back to the happier days that I rarely let myself think about for fear of widening the huge hole in my chest. Edward was back. I could go rushing back into my arms like all my instincts, and my heart, told me to do. Or I could fight back like my brain told me to do. I could make Edward suffer like he had made me. Then he could know what I went through and why I wasn't eager to take him back.

But which should I listen to, my brain or my heart? My instincts or my better judgment? Revenge or forgiveness? Why wasn't this decision easier? I needed someone to help me decide, but I knew that it was my choice and mine alone. But why did I have to carry such a heavy burden? What had I done to deserve it? But then I realized that I had brought it upon myself. My rash actions and my harsh words had given me this choice, this burden. I had brought it upon myself, me and no other.

I didn't want to go to school that day, but then I saw the sun peeking through the clouds and I knew that the Cullens weren't going to come today. They wouldn't dare risk it. In a way I was relived. I wouldn't have to see Edward, and if I didn't have to see him, the decision would be mine alone because even the sight of him was enough to sway my choice.

But then again, I did sort of want to see him. I had missed him all these months, I couldn't deny that fact. All the hallucinations were just my way, my subconscious's way of telling me either that I was crazy, or that I was so desperate to hear Edward's voice that my brain had somehow made me hear his voice. Crazy, I know, but that's all I can figure out.

I got through the day in a daze. Nothing seemed real, it was kind of like walking in a dream world. Everything just rushes past you while you stay in one place and everything around you becomes a blur, but you understand what's happening, you know? Anyway, I was rudely awakened from my dream world by Mike Newton.

I was at work, and it was almost time to end my shift. Mike had been talking on and on while I nodded an pretended to listen, or at least, I pretended until I heard something of interest.

"So, Bella, did you hear that the Cullens are back in town?" Mike asked conversationally. That question brought me out of my dream state and I suddenly became aware of every detail of everything. What had Mike asked?

"Excuse me, can you repeat the question?" I asked.

"Did you hear that the Cullens are back?" Mike repeated. If I were him I would be annoyed that I had to repeat myself, but not Mike. He just smiled and repeated himself.

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled. Why did the Cullens take over every part of my life? It seemed like I couldn't do anything without running into someone mentioning them or something.

"So, are you and Edward going out again?" Mike asked nervously.

"No," I said bluntly. This was still a sore subject for me especially after yesterday.

"Oh," Mike said, sounding much happier. "In that case. . ." Then he did the thing that I least expected in the whole world. Mike leaned down, his face only inches away from mine, and kissed me.


	4. Chapter 4: Alice's Vision

Author's Note: Please, please, please review! I love comments, good or bad. I hope you like my story, and if you do, tell me! Thanks! PS. Sorry this chapter is kind of short. The next one will be medium, but I'm pretty sure chapter 6 will be longer! 

Chapter 4: The Kiss

Edward's POV:

The next day was sunny. Stupid sun. I had been preparing myself all night for what I was going to say to Bella.

_"Bella," _I would say, _"please, you have to listen to me! Please! Then, afterwards if you still don't want to be with me I'll accept that!" _And then I would launch into the story of how I left to protect her, and how I didn't mean to cause her any pain. Then I would tell her about how unworthy I was of her love, and beg her to forgive me. Then after that, if she still wouldn't take me back, I would leave her alone and never bother her again. Unfortunately, I would not get that chance, not today anyway.

I was lying on the couch in my bedroom when I heard Alice gasp.

"Bella!" she moaned. I was by her side in an instant. Jasper came into her room only seconds after me.

"Alice, what is it? What's happened to Bella?" I asked, shaking her.

"Edward, you don't want to know," she said quietly.

"If it has something to do with Bella then I certainly do want to know. If you don't tell me yourself I'll be forced to look into your mind myself," I warned her.

"I won't tell you," Alice whispered. "Jasper, be ready to calm him." I took a deep breath. If Jasper had to calm me than whatever she had seen wasn't something I would like. I looked into her thoughts and saw her vision.

The vile Mike Newton was talking to my Bella, no, not _mine_ anymore, then he leaned down and _kissed _her! Bella! I was too shocked to speak for a few seconds, then I quickly came to my senses.

"Jasper!" Alice hissed, seeing my enraged expression.

"Where is he?" I roared. "I'm going to tear his lips right off his head!"

"Jasper!" Alice shrieked. All of a sudden I felt calm washing over me, pushing away the rage I felt. I relaxed and sat down in Alice's favorite chair and put my head in my hands.

_How dare you, Mike Newton?_ I thought.

"Edward?" Alice said nervously.

"Just leave me alone, Alice," I said, dismissing them with a wave of my hand.

_All right, Edward. I'm here if you need me. Do you need Jasper to stay? _Alice thought. I shook my head and Alice and Jasper walked out of the room. Even though Jasper left I remained calm. Why should I feel enraged anyway? I wasn't her boyfriend. I had no claim over her anymore, no reason to feel jealous. But those feelings still were aroused within me because. . . I still loved her, loved her with all my heart. Why couldn't Bella see that?


	5. Chapter 5: Cliff Diving

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight/New Moon

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad that I even have some! It's great to know that somewhere out there someone is reading what I'm typing out. Thanks again!**

Chapter 5: Cliff Diving

Bella's POV:

I was frozen, too stunned to move.

Mike's kiss felt nothing like Edward's. Edward's kisses were loving, but all I felt in Mike's was lust.

I suddenly realized what was happening and I quickly came to my senses.

"What the hell made you think you could do that?" I asked angrily, pushing Mike away and wiping my lips with the back of my hand. He looked stunned.

"I-because-you-" he said, not able to collect his thoughts.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," I sneered, and I walked away from him and got into my truck.

"Wait!" Mike called after me. "Where are you going?"

"Away from here!" I yelled back.

"But. . . your shift hasn't ended!" Mike yelled, desperate to keep me at the store. Just then the clock hands hit 4:30.

"Actually, it has. Bye, Mike, and _never _try to kiss me again," I yelled at him, and then I drove away. I went down to La Push for my cliff diving with Jacob. Edward had already spoiled yesterday's plans, but today I was going to go cliff diving with Jacob.

"Jacob!" I said happily, running over to meet him where he was standing up by the cliff.

"Hey, Bella," Jacob said, smiling at me. "No plans to no go cliff diving today, are there?"

"None," I said.

"Ready?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," I said.

I was standing with my feet on the edge of the cliff. It was so cold up here. I looked down. It was so far to fall. I took a deep breath and imagined Jacob waiting for me at the bottom like he said he would. I closed my eyes and jumped.

It was an amazing sensation. The wind blowing in my ears drowned out all other sound, and I felt like I was flying. I was tempted to do a somersault in midair. The water shocked me though, when I crashed into it. It was cold! Suddenly, a pair of strong hands grabbed my arms and dragged me out from under the water and helped me swim to shore.

"Fun, wasn't it?" Jacob said, grinning at me.

"Definitely," I agreed through chattering teeth.

"Do you want to do it again?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah!" I yelled, jumping up. "Race you!" We ran to the cliff where I successfully beat him to the edge.

"No fair!" Jacob said, lightly punching my arm.

"Ow!" I said, rubbing the spot where he had hit me, grinning.

"I'll see you down there," Jacob said.

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Can I go first?" I asked.

"I don't know, Bells. The current might be a little strong for you," Jacob said.

"Please, Jake. I know that I can handle it, and besides, I want to see you jump!" I pleaded.

"Fine," he sighed. I grinned at him, then without hesitating, jumped. It was even more fun than the first time, probably because I knew what to expect. What I didn't expect, though, was the water, and, more importantly, the current. It dragged me along even though I struggled against it. My head was underwater and I couldn't breathe. Then, I couldn't move. The current pressed against me, but didn't move me anywhere else.

I tried to swim up to the surface to get air. My lungs were burning. I needed air! But I couldn't swim up either. Something was holding me down. Was this really how my life would end? Stuck here where no one knew where I was except for Jacob, but I doubted that even he could reach me in time.

_Good bye, world, _I thought. _I'm so sorry, Charlie, you were the best dad in the world. Bye Jacob, you were a great friend. I love you Edward! _Then everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6: Another Vision

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, but honestly, I would like more. Hope you like this chapter. Thanks for all the support. **

**PS. I didn't really realize that at the end of that last chapter it was a cliffhanger. Oh well. **

Chapter 6: 

Edward's POV:

I sulked for the rest of the day. Carlisle came in to see me, so did Esme and Alice too, but I refused to talk to them. I was wrapped up in my own thoughts. How could Mike Newton kiss Bella when he knew that I was back? Then, Alice brought me out of my state of melancholy.

"Edward!" she screamed from her room. "EDWARD!"

"Yes, Alice?" I said, walking into her room calmly.

"I had a vision," she said.

"About what?" I asked, still placid.

"BELLA!" she screamed.

"Jasper!" I called out. Alice really did need to be calmer.

"Edward, this is serious!" Alice said angrily, glaring at me.

"Did she find another boy to kiss?" I asked, raising one eyebrow. "Because if that's the only thing than I really don't see why you even bothered to tell-"

"NO!" Alice yelled, cutting me off. "Bella jumped off a cliff!"

"What?" I yelled, the seriousness of the situation finally reaching my mind.

"Jumped, not fell," Alice said, a little quieter.

"Why? Where?" I asked.

"I don't know why, but she jumped in La Push. It's the only cliff there," Alice said. If she weren't a vampire she would be crying.

"Don't worry, Alice. I'll save her," I assured her, then I ran out and jumped in my Volvo. I had no time to lose. I drove as fast as I could to the only place I was forbidden to go.

I arrived just in time to see Bella jump. I saw her hit the water, and I waited for a few seconds to see if she came back up, but she didn't. I ran to the water and jumped in. I swam with the current downstream and then I saw her, my Bella, floating in the water. She didn't move. She was lifeless.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her up out of the water and swam to shore. I got out of the fast moving water and laid Bella on the dry ground and felt for a pulse. It took a little while, but I felt a faint pulse.

_Thank God she's alive! _I thought. All of a sudden, I heard footsteps behind me.

"What are _you _doing here, bloodsucker?" a deep, yet boyish, voice asked from behind me. I turned around to find myself face to face with a werewolf. Then, the wolf caught sight of Bella, laying motionless on the ground.

"What did you do to her?" Jacob Black yelled, pushing me aside. His touch burned.

"I did nothing to her, unlike you, dog. It was _you _that made her dive off the cliff, wasn't it? And because of that she's almost dead!" I yelled back with equal volume, hatred pulsing through my body.

"I didn't _make _her jump off the cliff!" Jacob Black protested. "She wanted to do it, and so I agreed to take her!"

"And yet you didn't warn her about the ferocity of the current?" I asked, glaring at him.

"She knew!" the wolf exclaimed.

"But here she is!" I yelled, gesturing at the motionless Bella. "Does this look like she knew how strong the current was?"

"No, but-"

"Exactly," I said smugly.

"Whatever. The important thing is that she's alive and out of the water. She _is _alive isn't she?" Jacob Black asked, glancing at Bella nervously.

"Yes," I told him. "But only barely. She's not breathing. She needs CPR."

"Here, I took a course. I'll do it," the wolf said. The thought of that wolf giving my Bella life-saving CPR made me growl in anger.

"_I _went through medical school twice. I'll do it," I said through my teeth.

"And what makes you think that I'd just stand my and let _you _touch her?" Jacob Black growled.

"What makes you think _I _would just stand here and let you touch Bella?" I argued, growling back with equal ferocity.

"What makes you think that she would want _you _to touch her?" the wolf snarled. That question stopped me in my tracks. How did I know that she would want me to save her? Maybe she did want the wolf, but I wouldn't let him touch her. Never would I see the day that Jacob Black so much as patted Bella on the back.

The wolf smirked smugly. I growled back at him, prepared to lunge and rip him to shreds. I had every intention of doing so until I heard a soft sound, almost so faint that even _I _had just barely heard it. Bella coughed.

I turned from the wolf, and walked over to Bella's side and kneeled down next to her. She was breathing again! So much for CPR.

"I should take her to a hospital just to make sure she's all right," I said, picking up Bella, bridal style, and walking over to my car.

"Wait a minute, bloodsucker!" Jacob Black said, running up behind me. "Who made you in charge?"

"I did," I said firmly.

"Oh yeah? Well-" 

"I'm taking her to the hospital. She might need it and we're not helping her by just standing here. You can drive behind if you can keep up," I said calmly, hiding my anger and amusement. As if I would really let a wolf drive away with Bella. It was almost laughable!

I put her in the backseat without another word and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Wait!" Jacob Black yelled, running to keep up with the Volvo. I smiled and pressed my foot down on the gas pedal and drove away.

The hospital was no help.

"Oh, she'll be fine," the doctor said. "She just needs some rest, that's all." I had walked away in a huff, carrying a still unconscious, no _sleeping_, Bella with me.

Alice met up with me outside the doors of the hospital.

"How is she?" she asked anxiously.

"The doctor said she'd be fine," I grumbled.

"And shouldn't you be happier about that?" Alice asked, frowning at me.

"I suppose so," I mumbled.

"We should get her back to her house," Alice said, looking nervously at Bella.

"Fine," I said. I climbed into my car and slammed the door. Meeting up with that wolf had done nothing to improve my spirit. Alice was right. Shouldn't I be happier?

I drove up to Bella's house and carried Bella to her room, my one true sanctuary. After that I left Alice and Bella alone and went and sat down on the couch.

Why didn't I feel happier? Bella was safe and alive, and I was once again in her house. So why was I still in such a bad mood? Maybe it was because I didn't know what would happen after she woke up. During this time, it felt like she still loved me, and it was just another time that I had to save her.

But it wasn't, because this time, she might not want my help. So what was I worried about? What would happen when she woke up. Would she be overjoyed to hear that I had saved her, or would she have rather had the wolf take her to the hospital?

"Edward," Alice said, coming out from Bella's room and snapping me out of my thoughts, "I think we should go now."

"Did you see-"

"Charlie," she responded. "Come on."

"No, I think I'm going to stay here, in Bella's room. Just to make sure that she's really all right. You go and tell Carlisle and Esme where I am," I said.

"Okay, Edward," Alice said, raising one eyebrow suspiciously. _I'll tell Carlisle and Esme where you are, _she thought.

"Thanks," I said, and then I darted into Bella's bedroom. Sure enough, not five minutes later, Charlie came into the house and the first thing he did was check on Bella. Alice had called Charlie to tell him that Bella wasn't feeling well and had gone back to her house in the middle of the school day.

After that, I wasn't bothered by Charlie much anymore. I could look at Bella and memorize her perfect face in peace. How could she think that she wasn't beautiful? She was perfect!

_I love you, Bella, _I thought, stroking her cheek. _I'll be here when you wake up. You and I have some things to talk about. Sleep well, my love. _


	7. Chapter 7: A Dream and a Hole

Author's Note: This chapter is kind of weird, but please bear with me. I only did it so that I could do Edward's POV for the next chpater. 

Chapter 7: Dreams

Bella's POV:

I was running, and then I saw a hole. It was very wide and very deep. I couldn't see the bottom of it.

"Hello?" I called down to the bottom. I heard no reply or echo. Then, as if pushed by some invisible force, I fell down into the seemingly endless hole.

From inside the hole I could see _layers_, different parts of the hole. The first layer showed a tall young man on a motorcycle. _Jacob_, I realized. The next layer showed a bronze haired god. He was pale and perfect. _Edward._ The next layer was a picture of a man. He looked similar to me. _Charlie. _ Then I saw Phoenix and Renee!

I was falling slowly. I saw pictures: me and Renee, her waving goodbye, watching my unsuccessful dance attempts, Renee and me laughing together at something.

And then it was Charlie and me, eating together, driving to Forks for the first time, Charlie checking in on me as I slept.

Then I saw Jacob and me, by the cliff's edge, on the motorcycles, doing homework together.

I saw images of Edward and me, in the meadow, in his Volvo, by the piano. Edward and me kissing.

If this was dying, it wasn't what I had expected it to be. I suppose it was relatively painless, but did it have to show me all of these memories? Remembering Edward was so painful. Perhaps this really was Hell after all?

_Goodbye everyone! _I thought as the darkness of the hole slowly started to fade. I could see light and I could make out someone's face. But who's? _Goodbye! _

**Author's Note: Sorry, I know that these usually go at the top, but I need to explain something so that I don't have to explain it again. **

**Bella is not dying, she is merely dreaming. **

**The hole represents the hole in her chest, and all the layers are a part of why the hole is so deep.**

**The images are all the memories and painful things that she wants to forget, but make the hole deeper. **

**Sorry about the explanation. It's kind of hard to describe, but I hope you get it. Reviews (as always) are totally welcome, so please tell me what you think! Thanks!**

**PS. Sorry about that last chapter. I didn't mean for it to be copied 3 times. I'm not quite sure what went wrong, though. As you can see, if you go back to chapter 6 I replaced it with the correct copy. **


	8. Chapter 8: Talking with Carlisle

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fabulous characters that I'm writing about.

**Author's Note: Sorry about the wait. Please read and review! **

Chapter 8: Talking with Carlisle

Edward's POV:

It was pure torture to watch Bella sleep and have so much to tell her and not be able to do so.

_Wake up, Bella! _my mind screamed. I thought about what I needed to tell her. . . and how to get her to listen. But did I want to tell her?

Right now I understood why she wanted me out of her life, but what if after I told her my explanation she still wouldn't take me back? That would be unbearable.

"_Bella, I know you are angry, but please, PLEASE listen to me!" _I would say. _"I only left because I wanted you to be-" _A noise sprung me from my thoughts. It was soft, but in the silence of the room it sounded loud.

Bella sighed in her sleep, or maybe she was waking up. I was nervous and afraid and excited and worried all at the same time. She rolled over and mumbled words that I couldn't understand in her sleep. Just a false alarm. I sighed and sunk down into the rocking chair, putting my face in my hands.

She could hate me. I had left of my own free will. I had thought that Bella wouldn't feel as much pain as me, but I was wrong. She went through exactly what I had gone through, but at least she tried to live again. I hadn't. The best I could say I had done was tried to track Victoria, but that attempt had failed.

Then, Bella moved again. I pulled my head out of my hands and rushed over to her side. I stroked her cheek.

"_Please wake up, Bella!" _I pleaded to her in my mind. Bella groaned and stretched, her eyes still closed.

"Edward," a voice said. Unfortunately it wasn't Bella's sweet voice that I heard.

"Yes, Alice?" I said impatiently, not turning around.

"Carlisle needs to see you. Now," Alice said firmly.

"I'll come right after I talk to Bella," I said.

"No, Edward. Carlisle needs you _now_. Victoria's coming. I saw it. Carlisle needs to talk to you now," Alice said, sounding annoyed.

"But Bella-" I protested.

"I'll watch over her, I promise. Nothing will happen to her. Just go, Edward. Bella will be fine," Alice said, cutting me off.

"Fine," I said in a huff. I looked over at my angel's perfect face and kissed her forehead lightly and went to see Carlisle.

"Ah, Edward. Good, Alice found you. We must talk," Carlisle said, turning to face me. _How in the world did Alice ever persuade him to leave Bella? _he thought.

"Not easily, I can assure you," I said, answering his thoughts. "What did you want to see me for, and please, make it short. I don't want to be away from Bella any longer than necessary."

"Victoria is coming back tomorrow," Carlisle said briskly.

"And?" I asked.

"Bella will have to be, of course, put under our guard and supervision at all times," Carlisle said.

"Is that all?" I asked, raising one eyebrow, knowing the answer.

"Of course not. Have you and Bella made up?" Carlisle asked. I felt pain throughout my body at the question.

"No, and I don't blame her if she never does. I hurt her too badly to ever expect to be forgiven. She's better off without me, anyway. Without me she will not have to risk her life every time she's with me," I muttered, saying more than I had meant to.

"She will forgive you in time. I'm sure of it," Carlisle said, his voice full of confidence.

"But how can you know?" I asked loudly, letting my anger and frustration creep into my voice.

"She loves you," he said simply. "Isn't that enough?"

"But you haven't talked to her now. I have, and she doesn't seem the least inclined to taking me back much less loving me again like she used to," I growled, taking my anger out on him without meaning to.

"If she loves you like I'm sure she does, she'll forgive you," Carlisle said gently. _Edward, don't worry. Everything will be fine. _

"But how can you know?" I asked, much of the frustration gone.

"I know how Alice and Jasper are with each other, and I know how Emmet and Rosalie are together. You know that they love each other with all their hearts. I see that same bond between you and Bella. It's the same one that connects myself and Esme. I would have to be blind not to see that she loves you and that you love her," Carlisle said gently. I shut my eyes, willing myself to believe all that Carlisle was telling me. Could it be true?

"Believe me, Edward, the two of you will make up. Have I ever lied to you about something this important?" Carlisle asked.

"No," I said softly, all the anger gone.

"Exactly. Now, Victoria must be dealt with," Carlisle said briskly. "I want you and Alice to guard Bella. I know that the rest of us can take care of Victoria easily."

"Is that all?" I asked warily.

"Yes," Carlisle said. "Tomorrow, don't move an inch from her side."

"I'll try, Carlisle. Don't worry. I wouldn't let anything harm Bella no matter the cost to me," I said.

"I know, Edward," Carlisle said. "You will protect her because you love her, and that is the best kind of protection of all."


	9. Chapter 9: Trust

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of these awesome characters or the setting or anything you recognize from the book really. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this disclaimer now would I?

**Author's Note: Sorry this took awhile. I'm just really, really busy, and just to warn you, the next chapter might take a little while too. Thanks for waiting patiently, or if you didn't, thanks for waiting anyway. Please review! If you're not a writer, you might not appreciate just how awesome it is to get a review, good or bad, so for me and for any other author, please review to the stories if you like them. Thanks! **

Alice's POV:

"Good morning, Bella," I said softly, looking down at the sleeping form of my friend. "How are you feeling?" In response Bella groaned and rolled over. "That good, huh?" I said, smiling. Bella sighed and opened her eyes slowly.

"Alice?" she said, bewildered. "Am I dreaming?"

"No, Bella, you are not dreaming or asleep. I'm really here!" I squealed. I couldn't wait to talk to her!

"Are you sure?" she asked, still sounding half asleep.

"Of course!" I said, resisting the urge to hug her with all my strength.

"What are you doing here, not that I don't want to see you," Bella said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh, I was in the neighborhood, so I dropped by," I said casually. Bella raised her eyebrows doubtfully, but didn't say anything. We sat in silence for a while.

"I found out about my past," I said, breaking the silence.

"Really? That's great!" Bella said enthusiastically. "What did you learn?"

"My name is Mary Alice Brandon. My family put me in an asylum," I said quietly.

"Oh," Bella said quietly.

"Yes. So, I've been meaning to ask you, what's going on with you and Edward?" I asked.

"It's. . . complicated," Bella said, not meeting my eyes.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," I said softly.

"No, I'd tell you if I could, but _I_ don't even know what I feel for Edward right now. It's really weird right now. I'm really mad that he left me, but I'm pretty sure that I'm still in love with him," Bella said, sounding confused.

"Hmm," I said, thinking. Even if Bella couldn't see it clearly, she was still in love with Edward. Anyone could see that. If only she would admit it to herself and give him a chance to explain why he left if that would help.

"Did Edward explain to you why he left?" I asked, even thought I already knew the answer.

"Not exactly, but he certainly told me enough when he left," Bella said coldly, her mood shifting in mere seconds. I could see what Edward had said to her when we left was definitely a sore subject.

"Maybe if you just gave him a chance to explain-"

"Alice, I just really need some time away from Edward now that he's back to figure out what's going on with me and him. I mean one day he says he doesn't want me, and the next he just pops up out of nowhere and expects everything to be okay. What would you do if Jasper did the same thing to you that Edward did to me?" Bella said.

"I would be angry," I sighed, seeing her point, "but eventually I would forgive him because deep down inside, I know that I love him and always will, and if he declares that he feels the same for me, I can only trust him."

"Yes, but what if he does it again? What if when he says he loves you, he's lying?" Bella asked, looking close to tears.

"That's why trust is so important in a relationship. You have to trust Edward. I know that it can be hard, but if you give him the chance, you won't be disappointed," I answered simply.

"How can you be sure?" Bella asked, not looking me in the eye.

"I can't be, but if you love him, you'll give him a chance." We sat in silence for a while.

"Alice," Bella said, breaking the silence, "thank you for the advice. It really means a lot to me."

"Anytime," I said, glancing at her. "Come on. I think the others would like to see you again."

"Really?" Bella asked, sounding eager.

"Really. Now hurry and get ready to go to the house. Esme has just been dying to see you."


	10. Chapter 10: Revenge

**Author's Note: Well, here's the next chapter for you. Hope you like it, and if you do, review!!!**

Victoria's POV:

I needed blood. Her blood. It was her fault that my mate had died, and now I needed revenge. I thrived upon it. But I couldn't get to her. She had _dogs _protecting her. Werewolves and vampires alike both thought so much of her? Why? Well, it wouldn't matter soon. I knew just when to strike. It would be easy now that the Cullens had returned. All I needed was one little slip up, a time when she was unguarded. He would pay. Oh yes, he would pay dearly for what he had done to me. I would make him feel what I had gone through.

And after I was done with the girl, I would come after him. The ruthless killings in the woods meant nothing. I was hungry. I needed my food. They weren't the real target. I wanted her blood. Needed it. Needed it for James. He would have wanted it. He would have wanted me to continue the hunt even after he was gone. But he would have thought the hunt over. He didn't know that the girl had remained human, but that would just please him more.

I peered through the windows of her house, watching, waiting.

"Really. Now hurry and get ready to go to the house. Esme has just been dying to see you," a female vampire said to her.

"All right, just give me a few moments. I haven't even had enough time to shower or anything!" she protested.

"Fine," the vampire said, looking around nervously. Ha! As if she could see me, _me _the master of disguise. The vampire left and she was alone, right where I wanted her. I crept silently into her window.

"Hello, Bella," I said calmly, smiling maliciously at her. She spun around and after she saw me, her eyes widened in surprise, then in fear.

"Victoria!" she cried. "Alice!"

"Don't worry, she can't hear us," I said coolly.

"How?" she asked fearfully.

"You doubt my powers?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.

"After you do whatever it is you want to do with me, please, just leave the Cullens alone. You'll have your revenge, so you don't need to hurt any more people," she said in an voice that did not shake. How thoughtful.

"I don't think so," I said calmly. "You see, this is not my revenge. This is James's. He would have wanted me to kill you after all the trouble he went through. Now, killing Edward, that will be my revenge."

"Kill. . .Edward!" she said, in shock.

"Yes. But now, I will kill you," I said, taking a step toward her. She took a step back. Stupid human. She couldn't run away from me. I reached out and with a razor sharp fingernail, I made a deep gash in her cheek.

"You know, I don't really think that red is exactly your color. Don't worry. The pain probably won't last long after you're dead," I smirked. She let a few tears of pain fall from her eyes.

"Oh, no need to cry. I'll be merciful. James wanted to be kind. I think he bit you on your hand, didn't he? Right here, wasn't it?" I asked, smiling maliciously. I took her hand and ran my fingernail over the scar. I lifted her shaking hand up to my mouth.

"See, I'm not hurting you as much as he did. After all, you did break some mirrors the last time you saw James. All I did was give you a little cut. Was that so bad?" I purred, going in for the kill. I opened my mouth and sunk my teeth into her fragile skin. Her blood tasted so good; so did revenge. I was swept away in the bliss of it. I was so caught up that I didn't realize that a small vampire had attacked me, tearing my teeth away from that delicious blood.

I fought back, but somehow the blood had weakened me. Or maybe it was because I had my revenge. Then everything went black. I didn't care. I would be seeing James soon.


	11. Chapter 11: Choices

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these awesome characters.

**Author's Note: I feel the need to clear something up. After Victoria tasted Bella's blood, the revenge that was spurring her on weakened, and so, in a way, she was weakened too since revenge was really the major thing that was fueling her actions. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy and review please! **

Edward's POV:

"Edward! Oh, thank God! Get Carlisle and come to Bella's house quickly! Victoria-" Alice said franticly into the phone. I clicked it off. I had heard enough.

"Carlisle, Alice called and something happened with Victoria. She said to go right away," I called to Carlisle. I was sitting in my room, mulling over things when Alice had called. What could be wrong? Then I remembered. Bella! Alice had said something about Bella's house and Victoria. Where else could Bella be but at her house? Terror rushed through me and I ran to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, hurry!" I yelled. He nodded and leapt up.

"Let's go," he said grimly. I ran as fast as I could to Bella's house.

When I got there I rushed to Bella's bedroom where I saw pieces of vampire on the floor and Bella lying on her bed, at first appearing normal except for the gash on her cheek. Then I saw the bite. It was in exactly the same spot that James had bit her before. I rushed to her side.

"Bella?" I cried out, despair and fear and hopelessness overwhelming me. "Bella!"

"What happened, Alice?" Carlisle asked softly as I cried tearless sobs.

This could not be happening to me again. Even when I was in the same town that she was in, I still couldn't protect her. I was the most pathetic excuse for a boyfriend, no a friend, Bella still hadn't forgiven me yet, that there ever was. This was all my fault. If I hadn't come into her life, or if I had just showed a bit more self restrain and kept well away from her, she wouldn't be lying on this bed, pale as death. But, if she hadn't come into my life, I would have never found my one, true love, or have known the joy that was Bella.

"I left Bella alone for just five minutes. Victoria must have used her powers to stop me from hearing what was going on in her bedroom, and when I figured out that something was going on since I couldn't hear anything, I came into the room and saw Victoria with Bella's hand in her mouth. I fought her off Bella. It was not as difficult to do as I had expected, and then, well, you see her now," Alice said, sounding distraught, but not as distraught as I felt. "Carlisle, what are we going to do?"

"She still lives. Edward, it's up to you again. Will you let her be changed, like she wants to be, or choose for her to remain human? There's almost no time left. You must decide, and quickly," Carlisle said.

"But she might not love me anymore. I can't sentence her to an eternity of night if I don't even know what she feels about me," I protested, scared to make this huge of a decision for the one person that I would love for eternity, literally.

"She _does _love you, Edward. You're the only one that can't see that!" Alice said.

_It's true, Edward, _Carlisle thought, knowing that I would seek his opinion.

"But-"

"It's what she would want, Edward," Carlisle said aloud this time.

"What if it's not?" I yelled. "What if I let her change and she hates me for the rest of eternity because of it?"

"But what if she thanks you for it?" Alice asked. "What if being changed is the one thing she wants more than anything other than being with you? She already can have being with you, but what she still needs is to be changed. And honestly, Edward, you can't tell me that you would enjoy watching her grow old while you stay seventeen."

"I will cross that bridge when I come to it," I growled. "And how can you know that Bella really wants this?"

"You know what, Edward, if you're too thick to see that Bella wants this more than anything, then maybe you're too thick to see that she loves you, loves you enough to want to be with you for eternity, and you're just going to take that away from her?" Alice yelled.

"She'd be better off without me! If I hadn't been in her life, this never would have happened in the first place," I yelled back, getting angry.

"But it did, Edward, and now you're going to have to live up to what fate has done!" Alice protested.

"Edward, do you love her?" Carlisle asked quietly. I turned to face him. I had almost forgot that he was here.

"Of course!" I yelled.

"Then will you give her what she wants most in the world?" Carlisle asked.

"You know I would give her anything, Carlisle, just not this. I can't allow her to be sentenced to an eternity of night with no sunlight or to become a. . . monster because of my selfish reasons. She should live a full, normal life," I said, quieter this time.

"She can get a full life, a full eternity if she is changed, Edward. You must make up your mind," Carlisle said.

"I will-" I began to say. Then the phone rang, interrupting in mid-sentence.


	12. Chapter 12: Screw the Treaty

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

**Author's note: Hi. Sorry this is short, but really, I had no ideas about this, and I think that I've stalled long enough, so I'm posting it as you see here. Anyway, please review! **

Jacob's POV:

Stupid bloodsucker. How could he just take Bella away? Didn't he see how upset I was when I saw Bella, lifeless, by the water's edge? Didn't he know that if anyone deserved to help her or spend anytime with her at all it would be me. After all, _I _was the one that helped Bella through the time after _he _left. All _he _did was leave her and leave her heartbroken. He didn't, doesn't, deserve her.

"Jacob!" my dad called out to me. "Harry's sick. Very sick. I'm going to go and comfort his family and see what I can do."

"Okay," I growled, still mad at that leech. I wasn't just mad at that bloodsucker, I was also worried about Bella. What if she wasn't fine. What if she was dying right now? The more sensible part of me knew that there was no way that Bella could be _dying_. Dying happened to other people.

Not Bella. Never Bella.

But my other side of me worried. What if she was seriously ill like Harry? Or what if the bloodsuckers had decided to change her into one of _them_? But, no, that couldn't be possible. They must have left her alone by now!

I reached for the phone anxiously. I needed to call her. To hear her voice.

"Hello?" a _bloodsucker's_ voice said, sounding annoyed, anxious, and worried.

"Where's Bella?" I growled.

"She's not available to talk right now, Jacob Black," the voice said.

"She'll want to talk to me!" I protested.

"Even if she wanted to, Bella can't talk to you right now!" the voice said, more annoyed and angry than before.

"What have you done to her?" I roared, fearing the worst. "I'm coming over there!" I ran to my car and jumped in, slamming the door shut after me.

Screw the treaty. I didn't care if I wasn't "allowed" to be in Forks. I was going to see Bella. Nothing could stop me.


	13. Author's Note

Okay, I'm really sorry for this. I hate author's notes too. I mean, seriously, you look to see if a story's updated and then it says that it is, so you look only to find that it's only an author's note instead of an actual chapter. Am I making any sense? Well, anyways. . .

Please don't be afraid to criticize me. Negative works just as well as positive. I like critics! Weird, huh?

Oh, I also need you to review YES or NO to Bella being changed, because the reason I haven't been posting chapters with a lot of action is because I just can't seem to make up my mind. And do any of you know if the La Push werewolves are supposed to stay out of Forks like the vampires are supposed to stay out of La Push?

Anyway, thanks so much for the nice comments and the great reviews!!!

-rhythm of life


	14. Chapter 13: Bella's Fate

**Author's Note: Sorry this took awhile. I've had the idea for this chapter for awhile now, but I just didn't have the time to write it. Enjoy and review, review, review!!! **

Carlisle's POV:

"Alice," I said calmly, "who called?"

"Jacob Black," Alice sighed, annoyed. "He said that he was coming here. I don't think we can stop him." Edward groaned and I nodded sharply. Jacob Black was an unexpected obstacle, but we needed to remain calm and try to make the best of the situation.

"Edward, you must choose, and quickly," I said quietly, reminding everyone of the unpleasant task ahead. "What ever choice you make you must make quickly."

"Carlisle, I-I just don't see how I can let her be changed," Edward said with a sigh, as stubborn as ever.

"Edward, how can you not let her be changed? I mean, honestly! If you don't want to-" Alice yelled. She was interrupted by a loud crash from downstairs.

"Someone's broken in," I said as calmly as possible.

"I'll go see who it is. While I'm at it I'd better take Victoria out of here. It's getting a little crowded," Alice said, stalking off with one last glare at her brother. Edward sighed sadly.

"Edward, there's not much time," I reminded him.

"I know!" he yelled with as much pain in his voice as anger and fear. "I just don't know how to make the right decision!" Suddenly Jacob Black broke through the door into the small and crowded room. He looked around wildly and then his eyes rested on Bella and he let out a howl.

"Bella!" he moaned. Then he turned away from Bella and looked at Edward with hatred, anger, and pain in his eyes.

"You! You did this to her!" he yelled, his finger pointed at Edward.

"Jacob Black, calm yourself. Edward did not bite Bella. The vampire that did is in the house somewhere," I said calmly to the angry werewolf.

"Sorry! I tired to stop him from coming up here!" Alice said, rushing into the room. Without any warning, Jacob Black attacked Edward. It was only a matter of time until he changed into a wolf.

"Alice, we must get him out of here. If he changes into a wolf, the consequences might be devastating," I said. Alice nodded grimly.

It was difficult, but we at last managed to pry Jacob Black off Edward, neither of them seriously injured. Then I remembered.

"Bella," I said with fear. "Edward, I'm afraid the time has passed for you to save her. Bella will forevermore, be a vampire."


	15. Chapter 14: What's Done is Done

**Author's Note: Wow. I can barely believe the turn this story has taken. It's a lot different than the original version I had envisioned, but I like this version a lot better. Thank you all for your great reviews. I've had nothing but positive comments, so thank you so much. As always, review!!!**

Edward's POV:

"No!" I shouted, looking down at Bella with horror. This could not be real. This could not be happening to my Bella, sweet and innocent Bella who wouldn't be lying on her bed, turning into a vampire if it weren't for me.

"You're joking!" Jacob Black yelled at Carlisle with panic in his voice. "You've got to be joking!"

"I'm afraid that I am being perfectly serious. Bella has already begun to change," Carlisle said gravely. In his mind he thought, _Thank goodness she has changed. _ I glared at Carlisle.

"It's about time," Alice said out loud sounding pleased. I shot a glare at her too. How could she be so. . .happy when Bella was turning into a monster like us right before our eyes?

_Edward, you know that this is what you wanted, _Alice thought, smirking at me. I glared at her.

This was not what I wanted. I wanted Bella to live a normal life, free from vampires and werewolves and danger. Bella deserved a normal life. A life without me. Now I couldn't even give her the one thing she deserved most in life. I was the most pathetic excuse for a boyfriend- wait, just a friend.

"What's done is done," Carlisle said quietly, trying to hide the happiness in his voice from me. I didn't have to look into his thoughts to see that he was pleased that Bella was finally turning into one of us.

Jacob Black let out a deafening howl and ran out of the room.

"We must leave here. Even though we did not bite Bella, there is still the chance that the werewolves might think that we have had something to do with this," Carlisle said quietly. I nodded, still upset and angry, not at Bella or even at Victoria, but at myself for being the cause of all of this. If I hadn't come into Bella's life, she would have had a full, _human _life.

I carried Bella back to the house, running as quickly as I could without hurting her. From her groans I knew that the pain was beginning.

I shuddered as I thought of the excruciating pain that my angel would be going through.

As I walked into the house, a nervous Esme greeted me.

"Edward! What happened? What happened to Bella?" she asked anxiously, her voice drawing Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie to where I was.

"She's been bitten," Jasper said gravely, but with satisfaction. I glared at him.

"What happened?" Esme repeated.

"I'll let Alice explain," I said, knowing that Alice would come through the door at any second.

I walked slowly, quite unlike me, to my room and laid Bella on the couch. I touched her cheek gently, lovingly. Her fists clenched and unclenched, her face contorted in pain, and yet she still didn't cry out. My Bella was always strong.

"Carlisle, how did this happen?" I asked in a choked voice, looking down at Bella.

"Perhaps it was always meant to be, Edward. You two belong together," Carlisle said softly, touching my shoulder gently, letting me know that he was there if I needed him.

"But not like this!" I protested, gesturing at Bella.

"No, exactly like this. She loves you enough that she is willing to give up everything, her humanity, her family, her life, to be with you for eternity. If she wants to give you her life freely, I do not see why you should not accept," Carlisle said.

"I agree," Esme said, walking into the room. "Oh dear," she said, looking down at Bella. "At least she will only be like this for three days."

"Esme, how can you say that Bella should be changed after you've seen her like this?" I asked, slightly angry. Why could no one see things from my point of view?

"Edward, what is done is done, and it is for the best," Esme said calmly. "We cannot change the past, but we can plan for the future. Bella's future is very bright even now that she is a vampire, or at least changing into one. You must accept that what has been done is done, and that you can only make the best of it, which I'm sure you will do."

"Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Jasper and Emmet went down to Bella's house to bring Victoria back to the house so we can finish her off once and for all," Rosalie said, standing in the doorway. "Oh, and Edward, I'm happy for you." I glared at her.

Carlisle said quietly, "Edward, I know that you feel that Bella should have had a normal human lifestyle, but I'm afraid that will never happen. Now everything is up to you two."


	16. Chapter 15: Fire

**Author's Note: Okay, then. Well, here's a very cheery take on what I think the change from human to vampire might have been like for Bella. Review please!!!**

Bella's POV:

I was burning. My blood had turned to ice so cold that it burned. I wanted to cry out with pain, but I wouldn't give Victoria the satisfaction. After awhile, I no longer cared. The pain was too horrible. The fire had started in my hand, and now it was going everywhere, taking over all of me, and I could do nothing to stop it.

Then the fire found my skin and all over my body was a beyond painful burning. Like someone had taken my skin and ripped it off my body piece by piece. My fingernails ached like something was pulling them off one by one. Everything hurt but my face.

The fire was in my face, I knew that, but it didn't burn, or it didn't burn as much. There was the ever present feeling of coolness on my face. I wished that I would just die already. Or maybe I was dying. Or maybe for some reason or another that I couldn't think of, I had gone to Hell.

The fire kept spreading. I could feel it running up and down my body, never stopping, even going over places it had already been, never leaving anywhere safe from it's fires. It hurt so much, almost too much to cry out, but I had to. I couldn't keep all of that pain inside me. It needed to come out somehow, so I screamed. I yelled. I think I might have even cursed. Not even childbirth could hurt this much.

It never stopped. Not for one minute. The instant I thought maybe it would let up, it just came back, more angry and ferocious than ever. What had I done to deserve this?

After awhile, I stopped struggling, and gave into the fire, letting it consume me. It would win anyway, no matter how much I fought to keep it away. It trailed up and down my body again and again. I could almost feel my organs shutting down, too damaged to try to continue performing their tasks.

Why was this not stopping?

Finally, when I thought I could take no more, the fire stopped completely. No gradual lessening, just completely stopped. I sat up, and opened my eyes.


	17. Chapter 17: Jasper's Pain

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you recognize from Twilight or New Moon

Alice's POV:

As much as I wanted to be at Bella's side while she screamed in agony, I also needed to be at my husband's side, comforting him, because even though the pain wasn't happening to him directly, he could feel it. I patted Bella's hand and went over to Jasper.

"Jasper," I said hesitantly, seeing his face contorted with pain.

"Yes, Alice?" Jasper said slowly eyes closed tight. I focused on all my love to him and saw him relax a bit.

"Thank you," Jasper said, taking a deep breath.

"Don't thank me. I love you. It's the least I could do. I hate seeing you in all this pain," I murmured softly into his ear, climbing onto his lap.

"Feel worse for Bella. She's going through as much or maybe more pain than I am already in. You should be by her side," Jasper said.

"I do feel bad for Bella, but she has Edward. He refuses to leave her side even though he desperately needs to hunt. You're my husband, and you are in pain. I can't help Bella. Her pain will be there whether or not I am sitting by her, but you, you I can help. I can help you not feel your pain. I can't sit here and not do anything. I need to help you," I whispered in his ear.

"I love you," Jasper said into my neck. I kissed him passionately on the mouth and concentrated on all my feelings of love and concern and Jasper relaxed a little bit more.

"I'd better go see how Bella's doing. After all, she is my best friend," I said, climbing, reluctantly, off Jasper's lap.

"Come back soon," Jasper said.

"You know, you don't have to stay here," I said, the thought just coming to me. "You could go somewhere else."

"But everyone is here. I want to help Bella," Jasper said, his face slowly showing his growing pain.

"You can't help her by being in pain. She wouldn't want that. We can go together right after I check on Bella. We'll come back right before her change is complete," I said.

"Fine," Jasper said. I smiled at him and walked off to Edward's room where Bella was.

Her face showed all her pain, and her fists were clenched tightly into fists. Her forehead was drenched in sweat and her eyes were shut. I put my hand to her face to cool her off.

"Jasper and I are going to leave very soon. The pain for him is horrible. We'll be back right before her change ends," I said quietly to Edward.

Edward looked terrible. Well, as terrible as a vampire could. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were a mess. The look in his eyes was the worst thing of all. He had a haunted, pained look, like he had been through very much.

"Edward, maybe you should go and hunt. I'm sure Bella will be just fine," I said.

"No!" he yelled. "I will _not _leave her side. After all the horrible things I've put her through I deserve to see what the consequences of my actions are." I frowned at him.

Bella cried out, a horrible sound, disturbing the silence of the house which had been quiet ever since Edward had walked through the door with Bella. I looked at Edward and if he weren't a vampire he would have cried.

"You didn't do this, Edward," I said. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it is, Alice," Edward said quietly. "If I had been stronger and ignored her throughout the school year then she wouldn't be in this situation. It's my fault for involving her in all of this. All my fault." He buried his face in his hands and I patted his back consolingly.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," I repeated.

"I suppose I should believe _you _of all people," he said dryly.

"Worrying will do you no good," I said.

"And yet I can't seem to stop worrying," Edward said, taking a deep breath even though he didn't need to.

"I should be going now," I said, heading toward the door. "Jasper is in just as much pain as Bella."

Edward nodded, and held Bella's hand.

"Bye, Bella," I whispered, then I ran over to my husband.

"Let's go," I said, grabbing his hand.

Bella's POV:

The first thing I saw was Edward.

"Am I good enough for you now?"

**Author's Note: I do hope everyone is reading these, because they are somewhat important at times. I've decided to move them to the bottom because I almost never read the author's notes at the top of the page. Anyway, I hope you don't mind me switching point of views during the middle of the chapter. I really like that ending line. Well, please review!!!**


	18. Chapter 18: The New Bella

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Sob)

Bella's POV:

_The first thing I saw was Edward._

"Am I good enough for you now?" I said, unable to keep the bitterness that I felt out of my voice. As soon as I said those words, I regretted them. I hadn't meant to say them, but I had, and now it was too late to pull them back into my mind where they could remain hidden.

I looked up at Edward. He looked completely stunned for a second, then his expression changed into one of utter loathing, regret, and guilt.

"Bella, you can't believe that," he said in a choked voice. "_I _was the one that wasn't good enough for you."

"Edward, don't try to deny it," I said quietly. "I wasn't good enough for you. There was nothing about me then that could keep you with me. After all, I was just a human. You didn't want me. I suppose that I can accept that. Don't regret what you said. You meant it, and all I've ever wanted was the truth." If I were human, tears would be running down my cheeks, but now, my eyes remained dry.

"Bella," Edward said, his expression so pained and full of sadness that I had to look away, "I-"

"Bella!" Alice shouted, running into the room. Then she looked at Edward's expression and my downcast eyes, and said, "I'm sorry. Did I interrupt anything?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. I ran to her and hugged her as tight as I could. "It feels like I've been waiting an eternity to do that," I said, laughing. Alice grinned.

"It's so good to see you, Bella! See, Edward, I told you everything would be fine," Alice said, glancing at Edward who was glaring at his sister.

"Let's go show you off to the rest of the family. They've been worrying about you almost as much as Edward has been," Alice said, grabbing my hand.

"Wait!" I said, halting. "Can I see myself first?"

"Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?" she said.

I followed Alice to her room where there was a full-length mirror. I took a deep, unnecessary breath and stepped in front of the mirror. What I saw shocked me. The beautiful girl in the mirror couldn't be _me_. The girl had a perfect, almost delicate looking figure, long, beautiful, brown hair that fell in perfect waves down to her hips, and her face looked like angels had carved it. And the girl had blood red eyes.

"Alice, this can't be me," I said, gesturing at the girl. "Your mirror must be wrong!"

"Bella, that's really you," Alice said, smiling.

"But-"

"Bella, it's really you," Alice said firmly. I glanced at the mirror doubtfully and moved my hand. The pale girl in the mirror moved her hand also. I had no choice but to admit that Alice was right.

"But, why are my eyes red?" I asked.

"It's from the amount of human blood you still have in you. Don't worry, they'll change to topaz soon enough," Alice said.

I smiled at my reflection. I was no longer the plain girl I had been before.

"Alice, let's go and see everyone else now," I said.

Alice took me by the hand and led me to where the rest of my new family was waiting anxiously.

The rest of the family was sitting in the living room, looking very tense and tired. Alice must have told them when my change would end, so they were all gathered here when I was ready to come out.

Emmet was the first to notice me.

"Bella!" he yelled, jumping up. He ran over to me and hugged me so hard that it was almost painful. When he released me, Esme came over to me and embraced me.

"Thank goodness you're all right!" she said, relief in her voice.

I smiled at her. Carlisle walked over to his wife and smiled, looking happier than I had ever seen him.

"We are all very happy that things have worked out the way they have," Carlisle said.

I smiled, but when I looked over at Rosalie, my smile disappeared. She was glaring at me with such intensity that I had to look away. Why would she be angry with me? I had never done anything to her, and if she was jealous of my humanity as Edward had told me she was, she had no reason to envy me now.

Then, Edward came into the room. All eyes but Alice's and mine looked toward him expectantly, but after seeing his expression, the mood in the room changed suddenly from one of happiness to one of sadness almost.

"You haven't worked things out with her yet?" Emmet asked. Immediately, Edward shot Emmet a glare so deadly that I wouldn't be surprised if it killed him. For a few moments, no one in the room spoke until Alice's voice rang out through the silence.

"So, Bella, are you ready to go hunting?" she asked. Immediately, the mood lightened.

"I suppose," I said.

"Maybe Edward should take you. He hasn't been hunting for awhile," Alice suggested. I frowned and looked over at Edward.

"I think we should both take her, Alice," he said. My frown deepened. Did he dislike me so much that he didn't even want to be alone with me? I was so confused.

"I think that would be great," I said glancing at Edward, sure that my eyes showed the confusion I felt. "Let's go."

Alice walked toward the door with me following her. All of a sudden, I tripped. Even with all my newfound vampire gracefulness, I guess my lack of coordination had stayed with me.

Immediately, I felt Edward's strong arms surround me just before I hit the floor. He helped me up to my feet, and I looked into his sad eyes, and for a second, we were the only two people in the world.

"Coming, Bella? Edward?" Alice's voice shattered the moment, and I averted my eyes and followed her.

"Do you really think I can hunt?" I asked.

"Of course you can, Bella," Alice said reassuringly. "Don't worry. Your instincts will take over. You'll see. It'll be fun!"

**Author's Note: Sorry about the wait! First, I had some plot trouble, and then I went on a week long vacation!!! Yay!!! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much to my loyal reviewers! Wow, 14 reviews? That's great! And remember, it's never too late to become a reviewer!!! Don't worry, the brief Bella/Edward conversation at the beginning of the chapter was not **_**THE **_**Bella/Edward conversation, and I **_**will **_**do that chapter from Edward's POV. As always, reviews, constructive criticism, and just plain criticism are always totally welcome, so review, review, and REVIEW!!!**

**PS. If you're totally bored and just want to read something, check out my oneshot, Could It All Just Be a Dream? I'm not sure if it's listed in my profile/bio thing yet, so check it out and review!!!**


	19. Another Author's Note Sorry!

**Wait! Before you kill me for this Author's Note instead of an actual chapter, please her me out!**

**Okay, I am so sorry, everyone! Truly I am! I was just sitting here at my computer with some major writer's block, and cruising through fanfiction, when I noticed that people seem to mention Betas a lot. I know that it's like, way late in the story for this, but would anyone out there like to be my BETA. (And would anyone tell me exactly what a Beta is???) I'm so, so sorry to bother all of you like this! Especially the people that have me on story alert! Sorry for getting your hopes up! **

**I really do plan to try to wrap the story up in the next four or five chapters. I've been drawing it out a little, and I hope you don't mind. Once again, I'm super sorry! I really do hope you take my cry for help seriously! I mean, I have the idea, I just don't really know how to get it started, and let's face it, I'm pretty darn sure that my writing needs some tune-ups. **

**Anyway, thanks for listening, well, reading actually. I would love it if you guys would review, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking with this story and giving me all that great feedback. It's what really keeps me going, you know? **

**Okay, I'm done now, so I give you permission to kill me. **


	20. Chapter 20: Hunting

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Obviously.

Alice's POV:

I didn't have to have Jasper's power to recognize the tension in the air. Bella and Edward were silent as we walked to the car. I did make some feeble attempts at small talk, but they weren't exactly successful.

The drive to the place we were going to hunt at was exactly the same. I sat in a worried silence. Edward and Bella couldn't spend all of eternity without speaking to each other could they? We finally arrived. I sighed in relief, anxious to get out of the car, and eager to hunt. I looked over at Bella. Even though I couldn't read her mind, I knew that she was nervous and afraid of embarrassing herself.

"Bella, don't worry. You have no reason to be nervous. Everything will be fine. Trust me," I said.

"How did you know?" she asked. I laughed seeing the confusion in her eyes.

"It doesn't take a mind-reader to know that you're anxious. Although we do have a mind-reader here, but he doesn't seem to be helping any," I said, still grinning. Edward turned around and glared at me.

"Let's get going," I said, quickening my pace so that I left Edward and Bella far behind.

_I would take this opportunity to talk to Bella_, I thought, purposely sending my words to Edward. _We both know that you'll never get any privacy back at the house, and if you talk here, the only person that will be eavesdropping on you is me. _I looked back and smiled innocently at the two, then ran into the trees.

I turned around and saw Bella try to follow me. Immediately, she tripped. I giggled and ran over to her to help her to her feet. Edward raced behind her, and helped her up before I got to her.

"Why don't we try that again?" I asked, still smiling. Bella nodded, looking embarrassed. If she were a human her face would have been red from blushing.

I took Bella's hand and started running, dragging her with me. After a few moments, she caught on and ran with me. I looked over at her smiling face. I remembered how wonderful it had been to run for the first time. It was exhilarating, almost as wonderful as finding a cute blouse in my size on sale.

I let go of her hand.

"Run!" I yelled, slowing down. She looked back and grinned at me, running faster than I could on my best day. Edward ran up to me, a smile on his face. But his eyes betrayed his feelings of pain and sadness that I knew he had to be suffering.

All of a sudden, we heard a huge _bang_ from far, far away. Edward and I just looked at each other with amused grins on our faces.

"Bella," we both said simultaneously.

We found her drinking from a huge deer in the middle of a clearing.

"So, it looks like you figured out what to do all on your own," I said, smiling. "What was that sound we heard?"

"Oh, that," Bella said, looking embarrassed again. "I tripped, and then ran into a tree. Then I found the deer." Bella looked away from us. "I know what you meant when you said there was a monster you, Edward. The monster took over. I was out of control. Even if I had wanted to, there was no way I could stop myself from attacking the poor deer and. . ."

I looked at Edward. He looked as if he wanted desperately to put his arms around her and hold her close. Instead he settled for patting her on the back. Bella jumped up and threw her arms around him and sobbed. Edward looked surprised at first, but then his expression turned into one of pure contentment.

Bella jumped away from him as suddenly as she had leaped into his arms. Edward looked hurt and pained.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to do that," Bella said, looking at the deer.

_You can still work things out with her_, I thought to Edward. He looked at me with an expression in his eyes that I knew to be one of doubt.

"Bella, don't worry about the deer. And we'll help you control the monster inside of you. It takes time, but you know that it's possible," I said.

Bella nodded, still looking frightened and horrified.

"Come on," I said. "We still have to do a lot of hunting."

All of a sudden, a scent hit me. It was too delicious to be an animal's scent.

I looked over to Edward, my eyes wide.

_Do you smell that? _I asked. He nodded. _Is it human? _ He nodded again. _Oh no. _

I walked over to Bella and put my hands on her arms so that I would be ready to restrain her. Edward took a crouching position so that he could stop Bella if she was too powerful for me, which there was a good chance of since she was a newborn vampire.

"What's that smell?" Bella asked. My grip on her arms tightened.

"Human," I answered. Bella frowned.

"But I thought humans were supposed to smell delicious. All I smell is rust, salt, and a bit of a floral scent. Nothing wonderful," Bella said. I gaped at her and looked over at Edward who was doing the same thing.

"How is that possible?" Edward said, looking at me with wide eyes.

"I don't know," I said, frowning. "Somehow, humans' scent doesn't tempt her."

"We should get to Carlisle right away," Edward said, already heading to the car.

"No," I said, grabbing his arm. "You and Bella need to hunt. We'll go back tomorrow as we planned."

_How can this be? _

**Author's Note: Well, you can't be too mad at me, because there's no major cliffhanger. Okay, first item of business-Betas. I have decided that I will not have one for this story because, and this is the only reason, this story is almost finished, well, about 3/4 of the way done, so there's really no reason. Thank you so much to all of you who offered to be my Beta. That means the world to me! Please don't think that I didn't choose any of you because I have an ill will to you or anything. Anyway, thank you all so much for reviewing. You have almost no idea how much that means to me. Please keep it up! **

**PS. If you've got the time, please go to my profile and check out my new story, Rash Decisions and Mistakes, which is about Bella being turned on the day Edward leaves and then meeting again 100 years later. Not very original, I know, but check it out anyway! **


	21. Chapter 21: An Eventful Trip to the Mall

Disclaimer: Don't own it. You all know the drill.

Edward's POV:

The rest of the trip was awkward. Bella would not even look me in the eye, which pained me more than I ever would have thought it would. I didn't want to approach her because I knew that it would pain her, and I didn't want to cause her any more misery.

Alice was constantly to force us to talk to each other, but her efforts were in vain. Bella, at the most, would only speak a few syllables at a time to me, while I, in turn, spoke little, not wanting to somehow further the already wide gap between us.

The whole time I longed to hold her in my arms and feel her soft lips on mine, but I restrained myself. At times, I thought that she wanted that too, but I told myself that it was simply my imagination. Bella must hate me for leaving her even if she didn't show it, and I didn't want to give her any further cause to look at me with disdain.

The need I felt to explain everything to her, why I had left, that I loved her more than she would ever know, was stronger than even my need for blood. I wanted, no needed, to tell her truth, but I stopped myself whenever I worked up the courage to try. If she rejected me, I would be broken. I couldn't handle that.

"How was the trip?" Esme asked after greeting us. I grimaced, but Alice bounded cheerfully up to Esme.

"Oh, it was fine, but you'll never guess what happened with Bella!" Alice said, her voice filled with awe.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, suddenly appearing by his wife's side.

"Well, we were hunting, and all of a sudden we smelled a human, but Bella for some reason wasn't affected. It was so. . ." Alice trailed off.

"Really?" Carlisle said frowning and looking over at Bella. "Do you have any idea why this might have happened?"

"I _was _very opposed to blood when I was human, so do you think it makes sense that I'm not affected now?" Bella said softly. I smirked. _Opposed _to blood wasn't strong enough for Bella's repulsion to blood.

"Perhaps," Carlisle said, frowning thoughtfully.

We stood, silent for awhile, just thinking when Carlisle broke the silence.

"Bella, you know that you cannot live with humans," Carlisle said quietly. I watched Bella's expression carefully. It slowly turned from confusion to dread.

"But Charlie," Bella said, her voice expressing her helplessness.

"I wish there was another way," Carlisle said sadly.

"But Bella's not affected by human blood!" Alice protested.

"Perhaps it was just her lack of knowing what human blood smelled like. Or maybe her instincts weren't working properly," Carlisle said calmly.

"We could test it," Alice said. "I'll take her to the mall. We need to go shopping anyway."

"But to put those people at risk," Esme said frowning.

"It will be fine if we all come with her to make sure she doesn't cause anyone harm," Carlisle said, reassuring his wife. He put his arms around her, and stared into her eyes. I cringed. They looked like the epitome of love. I wished with all my dead heart that I could take Bella in my arms like that and hold her.

The next day, everyone, even Rosalie prepared to go to the mall.

Alice's thoughts were a mess of inconsequential things, such as shopping, and serious matters, such as if we would be discovered today, and if Bella would hurt anyone. I too had my own doubts, but I suppressed my worries.

When everyone was almost ready to depart, I walked outside and to the cars. Surprisingly, Bella was there too. I had thought that Alice had kept her as her personal"Barbie doll" as Bella called it. I almost went inside, but then I caught a closer look at Bella.

Bella's face was paler than any vampire's I had ever seen when we arrived at the mall. She was frowning and nervously biting her lip. I longed more than ever to take her into my arms and comfort her. It pained me so much to see her like that, but I knew that I couldn't bear for her to push me away.

"Everything will be fine," I said reassuringly to her, surprising myself. I hadn't planned to say anything. Bella stared up at me in surprise.

"I hope so," she said nervously, taking a deep, unnecessary breath.

"Are we ready?" Alice asked, walking up to us. I looked at Bella again then nodded, heading over to my Volvo.

We rode in two separate cars. To my relief and dismay, Bella and I didn't ride in the same vehicle. I looked through the window of my car to see the inside of Carlisle's car, I saw Alice take Bella's hand then she opened the door. All of a sudden, without any warning, Bella leaped from the car. She turned to face us quickly, her eyes burning with hunger and desire. I leaped out the car and ran to her at my full speed, not caring whom saw.

I pinned her arms to her side, and held on. It was not an easy task since her strength surpassed mine. Emmet appeared by my side quickly and helped me restrain her. Together, we took her back to the car and put her inside of it. I looked at her with sadness, not because I was ashamed of her, but because I knew that she would be angry with herself once she realized what she had done. The thought of Bella in pain caused me pain.

When I walked into the living room after the tense car ride I was greeted by sullen faces.

"Can't I just say goodbye to Charlie one last time?" Bella asked, her voice sounding desperate.

Carlisle shook his head sadly.

"No, I'm sorry, Bella," Carlisle said, shaking his head.

"But I suppose you could write him a letter," Esme said quietly.

Bella nodded, then walked out of the room, her expression one of pure, and utter hopelessness.

**Author's Note: Oh my gosh! I am so sorry that I haven't updated since, well, a really long time. I swear that I will get the next chapter out sooner. I really hope that this chapter kind of expressed what Edward was feeling and what his motives behind everything he did were. I hope I did Edward justice. He's just so hard to write about in first person. Anyway, you guys know the drill. Please read, review, and review some more! If I'm lucky I should have the next chapter out long before Halloween, but if not because I've got tons and tons of homework, Happy Halloween! **

**PS. Here are the sneak peaks of the next couple of chapters. Well, they might be revised a little, but these are the general outlines. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 22: Filler chapter. How they faked her death. Ect. **

**Chapter 23: THE Edward and Bella talk (finally!)**


	22. Chapter 22: Bella's Letter

Disclaimer: Do you really think I would be writing this pathetic little story if I owned Twilight??? Do you think I'd be doing any other than making out with Edward if I owned Twilight??? 

Bella's POV:

_Dad, _

I bit my lip to stop the dry sobs that threatened to take over.

No. I _have _to write this. Charlie deserves at least this.

_You have been the best father in the world, whereas I am most likely the worst daughter in history. I am so sorry for leaving you like I did, without an explanation, without a last goodbye, and I am so incredibly sorry. You will never know how much this hurts to write. I can't tell you that I'm in a better place, but I can tell you I'm going to be in good hands. I know I should be saying this in person, rather than putting it on paper. I love you. I am sorry. _

_Love,_

My hand shook.

_Bella_

I carefully folded the paper and sealed the envelope. As I wrote my former address, something in me snapped. I was left to the mercy of my grief. Sobs wracked my body, shaking me uncontrollably.

How would Charlie react after getting this letter? He would think I was dead, and in a way, I would be. My physical body was no longer living, but my soul and my mind were still perfectly alive, as they would be for the rest of eternity.

What would René do?

And Jake. . .

Jake would know what happened. He would know that I had been changed, and he would know that I was his sworn enemy. What would become of our friendship?

These thoughts plagued me as I struggled to control my sobs.

"Oh, Bella," Alice said, wrapping her arms around me. I sobbed into her small frame. "Shh. Everything will be fine. It will work out."

"But Charlie-"

"Charlie will be fine," Alice said soothingly. My sobs quieted and I turned to look at her, confused.

"How-"

"I can see the future," Alice said with a smile. If I were human I would have blushed. Alice's pale face sobered quickly.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously.

"Carlisle, er, he staged your death. Since you're leaving a letter, he felt that it was best if it looked like a suicide. He spread your blood around in the woods, then in one area, put a gun. Everyone will think that you shot yourself, then stumbled around until your death, or that an animal carried you off." My lips trembled. Alice immediately drew her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Alice said sadly. "If there was a way, we would have done anything and everything in our power to make sure you could stay with your family, but we can't. There would be questions, and eventually you would have to answer. That would put Charlie and René in too much risk."

"I know," I said, pulling away from Alice. "It's just-"

"You miss your family," Jasper said, walking into my new bedroom in the Cullen mansion.

I nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Jasper said sadly, shaking his head ruefully. "This is completely my fault. If I had only restrained myself at your birthday party. . . None of this had to have happened. Edward never would have had to leave. You and Edward could have been together all this time, and you would be human. I let my instincts take over and almost-"

"It's not your fault, Jasper," I insisted, looking him in the eye. "If it was anyone's fault, it was mine."

"Bella, it wasn't your fault," Jasper said firmly.

"I-"

"It was fate," Alice said sternly, looking us both in the eye.

"Fate?" I asked.

"Fate," Alice said firmly. She looked to Jasper expectantly.

"No, Alice, it was my-"

Alice walked over to him and gently put her mouth on his, stopping his protest.

"Fate," Jasper agreed after Alice drew away from him.

"I love you," Alice murmured, holding Jasper close.

It hurt to see such a blatant display of sincere love. Although it was my room, I left them, giving them privacy.

Now what was I going to do? I could stay with the Cullens, but being with Edward was. . . complicated. It wasn't easy knowing that the man you loved didn't love you in return. . . Especially if that man lived with you. But I had no where to go. I couldn't go anywhere near humans. I didn't know any other vampires, and I had no power that I knew of, which meant that the Volturi wouldn't want me.

I had to stay here.

With the love of my existence.

Who didn't love me in return.

As I walked past Edward's room, I could swear that I heard my name spoken.

"Bella." I heard it again. Where was it coming from? Then I realized.

Edward.

I walked into his room cautiously.

"Yes?" I asked.

"We need to talk," Edward said, his topaz eyes dazzling me as they had so many other times before. I felt my non-beating heart flutter in my chest and walked over to him.

What was I getting myself into?

**Author's Note: **

**Well, I hope I did this chapter justice. To tell the truth, I'm getting a little tired of this story. I will finish it, but there are only two chapters to go. Sorry I left you with such a cliffhanger. I know I would be murderous if someone had done that to me! Anyways, I'll try to get it posted as soon as possible, but I'm moving soon, so I'll be uber busy with that, but enough excuses. Anywho, the more reviews, the faster I'll go. Sound fair??? Great! Thanks for reading!!!**

**-R.o.L.-**

**P.S. What'd you guys think of the letter? **


	23. Chapter 23: Heaven

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never did.

Edward's POV:

She was so beautiful.

"What do we need to talk about, Edward?" she asked hesitantly. I took a deep, yet unnecessary breath, trying to steady myself. This was my one chance. I had to do this right. This had to end well.

"We need to talk about us," I said, stepping closer to her, wanting with all my heart to reach out and touch her, feel her skin on mine, her lips on mine.

"What _us_?" she asked ruefully, looking away from me. I wanted to take her face and turn it to mine. I needed to see her, to fill my every being with the memory of her beautiful face. "You don't love me."

"I do, Bella," I said, my voice and eyes begging her to believe me. Her eyes swung to mine. Her gaze showed many things that her thoughts could not. She was confused and frightened.

"What?" she asked, her voice betraying how vulnerable she was. I wanted to take her into my arms and protect her, but then I would have to protect her from myself.

"I love you, Bella," I said sincerely, caressing her pale cheek. "I always have and I will until the end of eternity."

"But-"

"I lied." Bella's face dropped in disappointment. I cursed myself inwardly and went on quickly. "When I said that I did not love you in the forest, I didn't mean it. I have always loved you."

"Then why did you leave?" Bella again turned away from me. I took her hand in mine.

"I left to protect you from what I am, from what you wanted to become. To become a monster was not the future I wished for you," I said.

"I don't believe you," Bella said, taking her hands away from mine. My dead heart broke in two. I had hurt this angel, and now I was facing the consequences.

"Bella-"

"No, Edward, you can't love me," Bella said ruefully, stepping farther away from me. "Even thought I'm a vampire now, I will always be the breakable, clumsy, plain human girl you fell in and out of love with. Nothing can change that. If you left me once, you'll do it again, and I will die."

"Don't say that," I said roughly, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face me. "I made a terrible mistake. I should have never left you. I love you, and I will never leave you."

"Edwa-"

I silenced her with a kiss, overstepping all my past boundaries. We drew apart, gasping for air. I held her in my arms, never wanting to let her go.

"When you left, I was a shell. I tracked Victoria to try to escape the pain, but it followed me everywhere. I cannot live with pain like that again, Bella, and I cannot live without you," I said, kissing her again softly.

"I wish I could believe that," Bella said, sighing sadly.

"Please, Bella," I begged, dropping down on my knees. "All I ask is another chance."

She pulled me up, smiling slightly.

"I-I" Her face went blank and then a light entered her eyes that I had not seen in a long time. She looked at me and grinned.

"You love me," she said, her eyes searching mine.

"With all my being," I said fiercely. She laughed and leaped into my arms.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," she whispered.

"I love _you_, Bella Swan, and I swear I will never leave you," I promised vehemently.

Bella leaned closer to me, her eyes begging me to kiss her, but I had to do one final act. I dropped down to one knee and raised my eyes hesitantly to hers.

"Bella, I love you," I said softly. "Will you marry me?"

She didn't answer.

Instead, she pulled me to my feet and our lips met.

I smiled.

This was the only heaven I wanted.

**Author's Note:**

**No, this is not the end. There will be an epilogue, don't worry. I wouldn't leave you guys like that. Anyhow, I believe I will leave all my mushiness for the next chapter. Until then, adieu! **

** 3 R.o.L.**


	24. Chapter 24: Epilogue

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Edward's POV:

I waited anxiously for him to say the name, the most perfect name in the world.

I stared at my bride, and although she was not blushing, she was absolutely beautiful; the only woman for me. Her eyes gazed into mine, filled with heartfelt, tender love that took my breath away and swept all coherent thoughts from my mind. I saw nothing but my beautiful Bella.

Finally, the man said, "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." I smiled in sheer delight.

_Mrs. Edward Cullen_. I stared down at Bella. The name suited her like it had been chosen for her from the moment she was born.

I bent down and kissed my beautiful Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen; my one true and perfect soul mate.

Bella's POV:

I stood, my breath catching in my throat, at the altar. My fiancé was unbelievably handsome; the sight of him took my breath away.

"I now pronounce you Mr. And Mrs. Edward Cullen," the man said. "You may kiss the bride."

Edward's lips came closer to mine and I closed the distance between the two, experiencing a happiness I had never known existed.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love _you_," Edward whispered in return.

I smiled and kissed him again, knowing that whatever happened, nothing could ever amount to this perfect moment; this perfect moment with my perfect husband.

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - **

**Author's Note:**

**I know that was incredibly short and probably out of character, but frankly, I just wanted to finish this story. I have many people to thank for their helpfulness and comments. **

**Firstly, I would like to thank my friends Tom and Diana for helping proofread my chapters. Thanks guys. **

**Secondly, I absolutely have to thank all of my awesome and wonderful reviewers. You guys made this worthwhile. **

**And that's about it. Hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading!**


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